Dan's Girthy Pirate Sword.

[Verse] Woke up in the morning Saw Pikachu In my kitchen eating My cereal too [Verse 2] Charmander’s tail’s burning My favorite chair Squirtle’s squirting water Everywhere [Chorus] Gotta catch em all In my backyard Gotta catch em all Pokeballs are scarred Gotta catch em all Even when it's hard [Verse 3] Bulbasaur’s vines swinging Through the trees Eevee’s on the couch Wagging like a breeze [Bridge] Gotta train them Gotta love them Give them treats Gotta catch them Gotta hold them In the streets [Chorus] Gotta catch em all In my backyard Gotta catch em all Pokeballs are scarred Gotta catch em all Even when it's hard

[Verse] Well, I'm rollin' down the highway, hittin’ 92, My Chevy's roarin' loud, yeah, she's got some attitude. Got a mix tape playin', country songs on repeat, But my butt's in agony, thanks to these nasty, stiff seats. [Verse 2] Big rig, big dreams, drivin' through the night, But every bump in the road gives my rear a fright. I spent my fortune on chrome and lifted her high, But now I'm sittin’ on nails, prayin’ for that smooth ride. [Chorus] Oh, butt cramps, you're the bane of my life, Can't even sit there and hold my pride. Butt cramps, won't you just let me be, I got a long road ahead, you’re killin’ me. [Verse 3] I tried a cushion, tried a pillow, bought the best they sell, But now it's like a rock and I’m feelin' every jolt so well. From the countryside to cities, down that open road so long, But my cheeks just can't hold on, gotta rest before I go wrong. [Verse 4] Oh I love this big bad truck, don't get me wrong, But every mile feels like an endless country song. Got the window down, radio loud, tryin’ to drown the pain, But these seats are relentless, like a never-ending strain. [Chorus] Oh, butt cramps, you're the bane of my life, Can't even sit there and hold my pride. Butt cramps, won't you just let me be, I got a long road ahead, you’re killin’ me.

**[Scene opens with the Heavy, Medic, and Scout standing together]** **Scout:** "I am going to say this once: the Heavy is dead!" **Heavy:** "What?!" **Scout:** "The Heavy is dead!" **Medic:** "Correct." **Heavy:** "So, did you see the murderer?" **Scout:** "No, sorry mate." **[Heavy falls over, dead]** **Scout:** "I will find him! I will capture him! And no one will ever die again!" **Medic:** "That's nice..." **[Cut to Heavy's body, Soldier enters]** **Soldier:** "ATTENTION! The Heavy is dead! We know. Who killed him?" **Spy:** "We don't know." **Soldier:** "I will find clues!" **[Soldier runs off-screen, comes back with a clue]** **Soldier:** "What's this? A weapon!" **Engineer:** "That thing is why the Heavy is dead!" **Spy:** "The Heavy is dead?" **Engineer:** "Yes, he died." **[Scout runs in again]** **Scout:** "Incoming!" **[Cuts to Heavy's body again, with Demoman holding a bottle]** **Demoman:** "The Heavy is dead!" **Sniper:** "So, did you see the murderer?" **Demoman:** "No, sorry mate." **[Heavy falls over, dead again]** **Demoman:** "I will find him! I will capture him! And no one will ever die again!" **Spy:** "That's nice..." **[Cut to Heavy's body, Soldier enters again]** **Soldier:** "ATTENTION! The Heavy is dead! We know. Who killed him?" **Spy:** "We don't know." **Soldier:** "I will find clues!" **[Soldier runs off-screen, comes back with a clue]** **Soldier:** "What's this? A weapon!" **Engineer:** "That thing is why the Heavy is dead!" **Spy:** "The Heavy is dead?" **Engineer:** "Yes, he died." **[Cuts to a series of quick flashbacks of different characters suspecting each other, ending with the Heavy laughing]** **Heavy:** "Ha ha ha! You are dead!" **[Everyone realizes it was a joke]** **Spy:** "The Heavy is dead?!" **Engineer:** "Yes, he died." **[Heavy finally falls over dead for the last time]** **[End screen with all characters looking confused]** --

<Verse> Krøllet hår kom til Verden, den dag jeg blev født Jeg så det på et foto, meget fint og sikkert også sødt Mor havde hår helt ned til patten Jeg hev i det hele og sov rigtigt godt om natten. <Chorus> Livet det er fyldt med hår Man håber bare man ikke ligner et får Det kan du både græde og grine af Så kan du skrabe eller klippe det af Men det ligner hurtigt noget fra i går <Verse> Da jeg blev ældre fik jeg hår i mit skridt Men det på ryggen var nu noget skidt Man kan lugte af gorilla men ligner du en Løfter kvinden hverken øjenbryn eller ben <Chorus> Livet det er fyldt med hår Man håber bare man ikke ligner et får Det kan du både græde og grine af Så kan du skrabe eller klippe det af Men det ligner hurtigt noget fra i går <Verse> Selv her som gammel, ja det gror og gror Nu mest i røven og i næsebor Det på hoved’ falder af så småt Men det på ryggen bliver bare mere og mere gråt <Chorus> Livet det er fyldt med hår Man håber bare man ikke ligner et får Det kan du både græde og grine af Så kan du skrabe eller klippe det af Men det ligner hurtigt noget fra i går <Chorus> Livet det er fyldt med hår Man håber bare man ikke ligner et får Det kan du både græde og grine af Så kan du skrabe eller klippe af Men det ligner hurtigt noget fra i går

<Verse> Krøllet hår kom til Verden den dag jeg blev født Jeg så det på et foto – meget fint og sikkert også sødt Mor havde hår helt ned til patten Jeg hev i det hele og sov rigtigt godt om natten. <Chorus> Livet det er fyldt med hår Man håber bare man ikke ligner et får (en mink – åh tænk!) Det kan du både græde og grin’ af Så kan du skrabe eller klip’ af Men det ligner hurtigt noget fra i går <Verse> Da jeg blev ældre fik jeg hår i mit skridt Men det på ryggen var nu noget skidt Man kan lugte af gorilla men ligner du en Løfter kvinden hverken øjenbryn eller ben <Chorus> Livet det er fyldt med hår Man håber bare man ikke ligner et får (en mink – åh tænk!) Det kan du både græde og grin’ af Så kan du skrabe eller klip’ af Men det ligner hurtigt noget fra i går <Verse> Selv her som gammel, ja det gror og gror Nu mest i røven og i næsebor Det på hoved’ falder af så småt Men det på ryggen bliver bare gråt <Chorus> Livet det er fyldt med hår Man håber bare man ikke ligner et får (en mink – åh tænk!) Det kan du både græde og grin’ af Så kan du skrabe eller klip’ af Men det ligner hurtigt noget fra i går <Chorus> Livet det er fyldt med hår Man håber bare man ikke ligner et får (en mink – åh tænk!) Det kan du både græde og grin’ af Så kan du skrabe eller klip’ af Men det ligner hurtigt noget fra i går

(Verse 1) In the land of giggles and glee, Where the skies are blue and the jokes are free, I met a talking donkey named Fred, Who wore a hat on his little penis head. (Chorus) Oh Fred, with your poop jokes and sass, You make everyone laugh till they gasp. Your anal antics and toilet quips, Make even the prudes do hipster flips. (Verse 2) Down by the creek where the poopoo flows, We danced with the frogs in our birthday clothes. Fred sang a song 'bout a squirrel with flair, But got interrupted by a butt-picking bear. (Bridge) So we laughed till our asses ached, At the jokes so crude they could make a lake. But in the end, it's the joy we found, In the weird and wacky, all around. (Chorus) Oh Fred, with your poop jokes and sass, You make everyone laugh till they gasp. Your anal antics and toilet quips, Make even the prudes do hipster flips. (Outro) So if you're feeling down and your day's gone awry, Just remember Fred and his twinkle in the eye. For life's too short to take too seriously, Let's laugh together, and be weird, and be free!

Happy Birthday song to dan about his girthy pirate sword with lots of penis innuendo

[Verse] Scrollin' through the 'net, I be fishin' for memes, Wake up in the mornin', my mind wrapped in beams. Snackin' on the truth, I be gorgin' on streams, Keyboard warrior, got my digital dreams. [Verse 2] Post a pic of dinner, I'm the master chef, Spicy hot takes, got 'em holdin' they breath. Twitter fingers flyin', no time for regret, Memes so fresh, hit the 'net without sweatin'. [Chorus] I'm the internet king, ruler of clicks, Social media bling, scrollin' through pics. Hashtag hero, viral tricks, Gettin' likes and follows, add to the fix. [Verse 3] Day job's a joke, microwave my art, Office small talk, blowin' my fart. Brain on Wi-Fi when the signal's smart, My life's a meme, and I'm playin' the part. [Verse 4] Zoom call flex, background a palace, Virtual swag, avoidin' the malice. Snackin' in the meetin', munchin' on balance, Cyber suit game, drippin' with talents. [Chorus] I'm the internet king, ruler of clicks, Social media bling, scrollin' through pics. Hashtag hero, viral tricks, Gettin' likes and follows, add to the fix.

[Verse] [M] I was fixin' up the barn one bright Saturday, She called me to the farmhouse, didn't know what she'd say. [F] I was bakin' pies, givin' my love a try, When I heard that yelp, I almost started to cry. [Verse 2] [M] The door swung shut, oh, it was such a sight, In the blink of an eye, it turned day into night. [F] I rushed outside, saw you doubled in pain, Oh darling, I swear I'll never shut it again. [Chorus] [M] Oh, crushing my nuts in a door, It's a pain so deep, can't take no more. [F] I'll hold you close, try to make it right, Together we'll heal, through day and night. [Bridge] [M] Who knew a door could betray a man's trust, Turnin' calm afternoons into such a fuss. [F] I'll mend your spirit, I'll ease the stress, Love and laughter can fix this mess. [Verse 3] [M] The doctor chuckled, couldn't hold back a smile, Gave me ice and advice, said rest for a while. [F] We sat side by side, watching the sun go down, With every laugh and tear, it's you I've found. [Chorus] [M] Oh, crushing my nuts in a door, It's a pain so deep, can't take no more. [F] I'll hold you close, try to make it right, Together we'll heal, through day and night.

Y’a un gars qui s’appelle Morgane On le traite comme un ouragan Toujours à vider Jamais plein Même ta chambre Il la rend nickel [Verset 2] Partout où il va Il aspire Les miettes La poussière Tout son délire Il s’en fout des poils de chien Pour Morgane c’est trop grisant [Refrain] Morgane l’aspirateur Tout nettoyer c’est son bonheur Partout il passe Jamais de peur Morgane l’aspirateur [Verset 3] De la cuisine au salon Il rameute toutes les crass' du fond Quelque soit le recoin Il trouve tout Ô homme malin [Pont] Quand le sol est éclatant Tous les autres applaudissent Morgane content On le compare à un Dyson Mais c’est un homme pas un coupe-son [Refrain] Morgane l’aspirateur Tout nettoyer c’est son bonheur Partout il passe Jamais de peur Morgane l’aspirateur

I thought I had everybody on my side But I went and blew it all sky high And now, he won't even spare a passing glance All just because I, pooped my pants When Big Chicken came round just to put her down Catherine turned into a clown And no guy ever wants to dance With a fool who went and pooped her pants I know, I shouldn't mope around, I shouldn't curse But the pain feels so much worse 'Cause windin' up with no one is a lot less fun Than a burn from the sun or sand in your buns Now, I learned a lesson, I won't soon forget So listen and you won't regret Be true to yourself, don't miss your chance And you won't end up like the fool who pooped her pants

We are beard bait what a terrible fate The neckbeards won't leave us alone They call us m'lady but they just want to bone. They think they're cool with anime tees, Talking 'bout waifus, and big jubblees You smell like a sewer Get away from us please. You think your fedora makes you cool But you stare at my titties, your mouth's covered in drool You think yourself dapper, a charming bloke. You you're not a gentle-sir, you are just a joke Ew, ew, ew, it's a no, no, no, We don't wanna hear 'bout your manga show. Let me make it very plain This is not a hentai game. When I see you coming towards me I cry WHY?! WHY?! No matter how much you beg I won't call you senpai You think your fedora makes you cool But you stare at my titties, your mouth's covered in drool You think yourself dapper, a charming bloke. You you're not a gentle-sir, you are just a joke It's not their love for anime, It's their creepy ways, that keep the girls away. Your body pillow smells just like a whore While you smell even worse and you are such a bore You think your fedora makes you cool But you stare at my titties, your mouth's covered in drool You think yourself dapper, a charming bloke. You you're not a gentle-sir, you are just a joke Maybe take a shower, or brush your teeth. You might get some pussy if you weren't such a creep.